


the way it is

by blackcat1999



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Redemption, Parents Han and Leia, Rey - Freeform, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23535454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcat1999/pseuds/blackcat1999
Summary: Ben Solo was a little boy from Chandrila, whose dreams were snatched away, and whose destiny is already sealed.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, so this is my first fanfic in a long time and my first ever Star Wars fanfic. I've been working on it for a while and I finally decided to post it. It's the story I imagined of my favourite character: Ben Solo, and it has three parts: the first one is Jedi Ben in Luke's temple, the second is Kylo Ren before tfa, and the last one happens after tlj (let's pretend tros never happened please). This is the first material I post so I don't know quite well how things work here, but if you like this story please leave a comment :) Another thing that I want to clarify is that my native lenguage isn't english, this fic was written in spanish first and then translated by me and google translator (who I don't trust at all), so if you find something weird please let me know :) Love you all and I hope you enjoy this.

Part 1: the Boy and the Girl

Chapter 1

_“You could be more than this.”_ the voice said, inside his head.

Ben ignored it, as usual, but the words woke him up from his thoughts and made him realize they were arriving to the island. The painful feeling inside his chest grew stronger as the ship descended and landed on the green meadows of the Academy, and when his father turned off the Falcon, an awkward silence filled the air, as did Han’s deep sigh.

The pilot looked at Ben and his son stared back at him with hatred and tear-filled eyes, then proceeded to leave the ship. His uncle was waiting for him outside the Falcon, a huge smile on his face. Ben gave him the same look he had played before for his father and walked past him, heading to the hut that was now going to be his, for a long time.

Han had arrived to meet Luke, his eyes full of concern and his hands resting on his hips. The old Jedi went looking for his nephew, but when he reached the hut, it’s door was closed, and he didn’t dare to open it.

“Ben? Won’t you say goodbye to your father?” he said after knocking and getting no response.

The ten-year-old boy didn’t reply; he was examining the place where he would spend the rest of his days until he became a Jedi. A keeper of peace. But, wasn’t the galaxy at peace already? Since the day he was born, when the peace treaty was signed?

Everything inside his new home was made of wood. There was a mattress on the floor, and a small desk against the wall, where he would surely locate his calligraphy set. In front of the desk and almost attached to the wall was a very battered wardrobe, designed for his Jedi robes. A wave of revulsion passed through his stomach as he imagined himself wearing one. The walls and ceiling were all wood, and there was no window, but the light came in through the holes between the wooden planks on the walls. It was a simple place, perfect for a future Jedi.

With a long sigh, he sat down on the floor, leaning against the door his uncle was calling him through.

He wasn’t going to stay here for long.

…….

But he did.

He spent eight years in the temple, learning with Luke about the ways of the Jedi, and the use of the Force. If little Ben Solo had been asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he’d have proudly and enthusiastically said that he yearned to be a pilot, like his father, just so he could be free and do what he loved the most: flying.

Ben’s memory was too active these days, remembering how he’d gotten to this point, what other decisions he could have made, what his options had been in those eight years. But reality was that he had no other choice. His mother had dispatched him there because he was a monster, a monster that needed to be fixed, and that's the way it was and always had been.

But, what did he need to fix?

He was angry, and he had good reasons to. His parents had never been there to love him, to take care of him. What was wrong with being angry about it? There might be some truth on the fact that he had trouble controlling his powers, but anger itself was the reason for these problems. And how could he not feel anger when he needed his parents so much, and they didn’t love him. It was so frustrating, because he also didn’t have the power to do anything about it. Despite his complaints and reproaches, fixing Ben's flaws would always be his parents' priority, besides working. Sometimes he thought about how much he would’ve liked to be like his father: growing up without a family and not feeling pain and emptiness because of it all the time. Or maybe Han did feel that way, but he was good at hiding it.

But his parents hadn’t abandoned him, they were there, and they believed that he was a monster. Ben knew this because sometimes, when Han and Leia's loud and frequent fights wouldn't let him sleep, he would sit behind the door and listen to what they said, while trying not to be seen. _You know there is something wrong with him, Leia!_ His father said once, and tears fell from the boy’s eyes. He could also feel his mother's fear when she was close to him, even though she always tried to hide it. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

And even if he woke up every single day wishing to be someone else, and cried himself to sleep every night, things wouldn’t change. He would open his eyes the next day and his parents wouldn’t be there either. His uncle will never treat him as family. He would still be alone.

Well, not entirely. The voice would still be there, inside his head. It never left.

When loneliness seized him, or he felt that he could never be loved, it wasn’t his parents who were there, but the voice, trying to convince him otherwise. The voice told him that he loved him, that he wasn’t alone. Sometimes days passed and the voice didn’t appear, and in moments when he felt anger, sadness or frustration, he returned, stronger than ever, and helped him see more clearly.

One of the things the voice had helped him understand was Luke’s problem with Ben. It was his fear of Ben's power and the possibility that his nephew would one day be more powerful than he ever was, which made the old Jedi refuse to ever recognize his potential. Because Ben had incomparable power, which always made him stood out from the other students. Ben was able to make objects float at the age of eight, something the other children learned at eleven, and when it came to sword fighting, his opponents always ended up on the ground, asking for some time to recover. And that made everyone highlight his bright future, and Ben's dreams went from being inside a cockpit, flying through space, to battles against dark Siths and separatist armies. But Luke never recognized Ben's abilities, he pretended that he was like any other average student.

At first, he thought that maybe he was trying to make the others feel better, but when it became clear that Ben was the most powerful, the voice helped him see that his uncle was jealous of him, and of his immense power. Jealous to the point where he sometimes limited his learning, and refused to develop his true potential, what he was really capable of doing with the Force. And that made him very angry, and made him want to leave the temple, feeling that it was a waste of time to be there.

But anger was a path to the dark side, as Luke always said, and that wasn’t what Ben wanted.

Ben was the youngest Skywalker. Luke's nephew and grandson of Anakin Skywalker, legends of the Jedi. Son of Han Solo, the smuggler, and Leia Organa, princess of Alderaan, both heroes of the rebellion. Many things were expected of him.

Ben would become the most powerful Jedi, and he would be a hero of the Republic, like his family before him.

And that future didn’t fit with the dark side of the Force. He shouldn't be playing with those things if he was going to be who he was meant to be.

But those thoughts didn't make the voice happy. The voice wanted Ben to exploit his power to the fullest, to be more than his family wanted, and what his uncle imposed on him, and he was always on the lookout to remind him: how things could be different; How he could have a better future, much better than any Skywalker had.

Sometimes the voice also lied, telling him that his family wanted him dead. That his worst fears were true, and his parents didn’t love him, and never had. That they wanted him to be different, someone who wasn’t a monster, someone who lived up to that legacy.

Perhaps part of it was true, and his father and uncle would never be proud of him, but Ben sometimes felt his mother's love, when the fear inside her vanished.

When he was still a child, Leia used to read him stories before going to sleep and always kissed him good night, but over time the visits stopped being so frequent and he had to read the stories himself while waiting for his mother, until sleep defeated him. He still remembered how the sounds of the huge and empty house in Chandrila scared him and wouldn’t let him sleep. Unfortunately for Ben, Leia had become one of the New Republic's most important and renowned senators, and there wasn't much time on her agenda for her son.

His uncle had always been kind to him, and had successfully taught him to control his powers, but the life of a Jedi was deprived of any attachment or relationship, and the old man’s only exception was Leia. The bond with his beloved sister's son was different. Luke felt darkness in Ben, as his mother did, and he didn’t seem to know what to do with it.

He had long since told his mother about the voice, but as soon as he mentioned it, the princess' panic escalated to the point where she first mentioned sending him to train with Luke, and Ben had to minimize it, and make it appear like a simple imaginary game to calm her down. For some strange reason the boy didn’t know, his mother was obsessed with keeping him out of the dark, and would do anything, even sending him thousands of light years away, to do it. Finally, his attempts were in vain, and he ended up with his uncle anyway.

But Ben knew how to control it. He knew feeling anger and rage was wrong. He knew when to listen to the voice and when not to.

Also, he enjoyed the light. He enjoyed feeling peace and calm, spending time with the people he loved, despite feeling lonely most of the time.

And this week he would be spending quite a bit of time with someone he loved. Luke had given him permission to stay at his mother's house in Chandrila, where he had grown up. Of course the senator would be working, but she had promised her son that she would take as few commitments as possible so that she could spend time with him.

It was the first day in Chandrila and its interior shone with the joy of spending some days far away from the temple, and at his parents' house. He hadn't been there in two years, on another occasion when his uncle had given him and the other students a few days off to see their families, but everything was the same as when he left. His mother had no time for new decorations.

Han was gone shortly after Ben went to train with his uncle, eight years ago. He saw him once a year, when he visited him at the temple for his birthday. His mother never did, but she always called via hologram.

Luke was aware that the Jedi code said that children taken as apprentices could never relate to their parents again, but he’d always considered that rule to be too strict for a child. Still, it had been his love for his sister and Han that had led him to defeat the Emperor during the war.

Chandrila was still as nice as when he was a child, with very friendly people and greenery everywhere. When he arrived at the now only Organa's house, his mother's assistant, Saul, helped him carry his suitcase to his room and warned him that Leia would be arriving at midnight, probably. Then he asked if he needed anything else and left, leaving him alone in the big house. Memories of when he was a child popped into his head: his mother scolding him for running around the house with his toy speeder, his father's attempts to cook something edible for little Ben without setting the kitchen on fire, the stress C3PO went through -if droids were actually capable of feeling stress- when he was left in charge of him, and failed to get Ben to follow at least one of his orders.

After eating some fruits that he found in the refrigerator, Ben picked up a book of stories about the Force he was reading and collapsed on one of the navy blue armchairs that were still in the spacious living room, after more than eight years.

The chapter he was in was about the Force Dyad, a connection between two users that was very strange and had occurred only twice in history before. It happened between a dark sider and a bright one, and the two shared a connection in the Force that could never be broken, not even by death. Their combined powers were the most powerful thing the galaxy could witness, being able to accomplish things beyond imagination.

The Dyads that had existed before hadn’t been completed, the first because of the resignation of both users to work together, and the second because of the death of both. It was believed that if the Dyad was completed in the future, it could be used to bring peace to the galaxy, or it could destroy it. Some theories even talked about the possibility that the Dyads were an attempt by the Force itself to achieve balance.

……

At eleven o'clock, the bell rang at the Organa’s house. Ben made an effort and got up from the armchair, curious to know who was looking for his mother that late in the night.

His eyes widened in surprise when he opened the violet wooden door and found his father on the other side.

"Dad?" Han's face, who was looking away and hadn't seen him open the door, lit up the instant he turned his head and saw his son standing in front of him, staring in disbelief.

"Ben!" he said happily as he hugged him, hesitating at first if it was okay to do so. But Ben accepted the hug with gratitude, much to the pilot's surprise.

"I didn't know you were coming." said the boy, after the hug ended. Taking a good look at his father, he noticed that the pilot was much older and deteriorated than the last time he’d seen him, almost a year ago.

"And I didn't know you were in Chandrila!”

"Yes, I got here this afternoon. Luke gave me a week off.”

"Your mother didn't say anything ..."

Ben looked at him sadly. “Come in.” He gestured. Han walked into the house, looking everywhere, surely trying to control that everything remained in place. The two of them sat in the blue armchairs.

“So… now you ring the bell?” asked his son. The last vacation in Chandrila hadn’t been enough for Ben to get used to the fact that this was no longer Han's home.

His father let out a long sigh. “Yes… for quite some time. Since a few days after you left, to be more precise.”

"Still not talking to each other?” There was sadness and concern in the eyes of the young Jedi apprentice. The last time he’d seen his mother, Han's name was cursed, and every time Leia heard it, she shuddered, as if she had seen a ghost.

“Your mother’s still pretty mad, kid.”

Ben leaned his back against the back of the chair. "Well ... she’s right to be angry.”

"Of course, I understand why she is, but ..." Han seemed to realize he was talking about lurid topics, and tried to change the subject, as he always did. "Now isn’t the time to talk about it. How are you, kid?”

Ben looked at him with disappointment, but managed to answer his father's question. "Fine ... I guess.” He said with a brief shrug.

Han noticed the sadness in his son's voice, but he wasn't good enough comforting people, and never had been. Silence filled the room, and the pilot didn’t know what to do. There were so many things he wanted to ask and Ben wanted to tell him, but neither of them had the courage to. Finally, Han managed to find the safest words that summed up what was going through his mind at the time.

"How is your uncle treating you?” Ben smiled inside. His father knew he didn’t have a good relationship with Luke, and how cold the Jedi could be. But there wasn’t much more to say about that.

"Good.”

Han knew there was much more hidden behind that answer, and that frustrated him, considering how much he wanted to help his son, and get him out of that horrible place where Leia had taken him. But Ben had never trusted him enough, and part of it was his fault, for never being there for his son.

"And what about you?” Ben interrupted his thoughts.

“Your uncle Chewie and I found this guy in Corellia, we are transporting bacta for him. Also doing other jobs…”

“So you’re back home”

"Nah" his father smiled. “Corellia was never home. Although, they appreciate us there, you know? Children look at the Falcon and ask us if it’s the real one, and if I’m the real Han.”

“You’re a hero there.”

Han hated that word. Or hated being associated with that word. "Nah, kid, I was just lucky.”

At that moment, the front door opened, and after a few seconds, Leia was standing at the living room door. Her face lit up when she saw Ben, and then it turned to complete irritation when she noticed Han. The room went completely silent, and all Ben wanted was not to be there, and he had the feeling that his father felt the same way.

"Mom!" He smiled, in an effort to break the awkward silence. “I was waiting for you, Saul told me that you’d get home by midnight. Dad came just now to…” Ben looked at his father. He hadn't told him why he was there.

Han panicked. Leia's face was of someone who wanted to murder.

"Um ... uh ... I just wanted to ... talk to you. In private. But ... I'll be back tomorrow. You sure want to talk to Ben… I didn't know he was coming, by the way.”

"Well you would have known, if you had answered any of my calls, or you’d seen the messages I left you. But you didn’t.” The silence after his mother spoke was such that Ben didn't really know how to break it anymore. But it was his father who saved him this time.

"You’re right, Leia. And I'm very sorry. I'll leave you both…”

"Yes, you better do.” Leia shot at him.

A look of concern passed from Ben to his father. It was rare to see him apologizing. Their last fight must have been really severe for the pilot to admit he was wrong.

"I'll be here tomorrow, kid, and then I'll go back to Corellia. We could have lunch together if you want. I'm sure your Uncle Chewie will be happy to see you.”

"Of course, Dad.” It was the young Jedi who hugged his father this time, and Han patted him on the back.

Then he left the house without even a goodbye from Leia, and only after he left, a smile returned to the princess's face.

"Ben ..." She hugged her son tightly. “I missed you too much…”

"I missed you too, Mom.” Happiness exploded in his body, he had waited a long time for this moment, while he was alone in the temple.

They sat in the same armchairs and talked until their eyes were tired enough to go to bed. Ben told her about his training and Leia listened carefully. He asked her about the Senate, and found out that his mother was doing very well there, and everyone thought there was a chance that Leia would become the President of the Senate in a few years, and the news made him happy and sad at the same time.

Long after midnight, they went to sleep, and it was the first night in a long time that Ben didn’t feel lonely.

When he got up, his mother was no longer there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She always had the same dream: the memory of herself in the desert, when she was still a little girl. Unkar Plutt holding her arm. Her parents leaving her. But every time it happened, some elements changed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the only chapter from Rey's POV of part one, since this is Ben's story. You'll have to wait until part three for more Rey and for Reylo, but don't worry it's not that long ;) Also, this chapter is a bit shorter. Don't forget to comment if you like this, love you all <3<3

Chapter 2

_The sun was shining bright that day, burning the skin on her face, and making it damp with sweat. The hand grabbing her arm was hurting her. She only wished he could let her go. Perhaps if she could get just a little closer, they would hear her._

_“Come back!” Rey kept screaming, desperate. But it was useless, they were too far away already._

_Suddenly,_ _the heat intensified, as the red light manifested in the sky, swallowing the ship where they were leaving. The pain in her chest grew stronger, and she didn’t know what to do anymore._

_……_

Rey woke up breathing heavily, beads of sweat running down her face. The sand surrounding the old worn-out mattress where she slept was cold, and she moved to lie on it, so she could ease the heat the nightmare had left.

She always had the same dream: the memory of herself in the desert, when she was still a little girl. Unkar Plutt holding her arm. Her parents leaving her. But every time it happened, some elements changed.

Sometimes the light didn’t appear, and the ship just left, fading into outer space. Sometimes the ship left at night, and the red light lighted up the desert, staining the sand and making it look as if it was covered in blood. Sometimes the boy with black hair would show up, his presence comforting and familiar, easing the pain in her chest, as if they could both share it and make it weigh less.

It hadn’t yet dawned when she woke up, the moonlight shining on the Jakku desert, and not a single soul in sight. Rey knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night, so she left the old AT-AT, which had been her home since that traumatic day, lay down on the cold desert sand and began to look at the stars.

She always wondered how many planets were out there, and what they looked like. From lost conversations of people in town, she’d learned that there were oceans in some of them, jungles in others, and planets made entirely of ice. She’d even heard of a planet completely covered by a city, where billions of people lived. Rey could only imagine what that would look like.

Someday, when her family came back for her, she would fly away with them and they would explore other planets together. The first one would be the one with the island, the one she had seen in her dreams. It was so green that there was always a smile on her face when she woke up. They would build a simple hut, where they could sleep, and she and her father would fish in the sea. Then, she would help her mother cook, while telling her about the adventures she had in Jakku when they were gone.

She always imagined them with brown hair and hazel eyes, exactly like hers. Her mother was beautiful and made buns on Rey’s hair every day. Her father was gentle and cared for both. They both loved her, and they wouldn’t stop repeating how much they’d missed her the time they were gone.

But all of it was just inside her head, and Rey knew it. The harsh reality from which she tried so hard to escape, was that she didn’t remember what her parents looked like, if they were gentle or if they were beautiful. If they combed her hair or cared for her. If she had a birth-day, like the rest of the kids she knew from town. Rey didn’t remember if she was loved.

The stars continued to shine in the dark sky, making her wonder if there were more people like her in the vast galaxy. She wondered if anyone felt that lonely, if her family was really out there and, in case they were, in which of all those thousands of stars.

But in the end, gazing at the galaxy always left her feeling comfortable, protected. As lonely as she felt, there was something out there telling her to be patient, to wait. That there was a place for her, that everything would be fine, and, most importantly, that she was not alone.

Suddenly, the dark sky was pierced by a shooting star, and Rey wished she could go back to sleep. When she woke up, the sun was already shining, and another day of hard work was waiting for her, but at least she knew that there was someone on her side.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It’d been long since the last time he’d dreamed of the girl, and each time it happened it felt more and more real. As much as he tried to make her stop crying and feeling pain, she could never see him. But sometimes the dream changed."

Chapter 3

_The screams didn’t come from very far, even though the endless desert seemed to be completely empty. The heat was unbearable, the sun shining brightly and reflecting in the sand._

_"Come back!" the voice broke the silence that reigned in the place, and seemed to grow louder and louder, as if the girl was approaching. Finally, Ben heard the voice just behind him. He turned around and there she was, a little girl with three buns in her hair, she must have been 5 years old. She was yelling at something in the sky, but for some reason, Ben didn't have the need to turn around and look at what caught her attention so much._

_Instead, he was captivated by the pain and despair emanating from her, as if the girl was about to lose something very important for her. She was alone and scared, and Ben tried to tell her that everything would be fine, that whatever was hurting her would end soon._

_But the girl couldn't see him. Or maybe she did, and had decided to ignore him._

_He knelt on the ground to keep up with her, the sand burning under his knees. "Hey," he called out to her. But there was no reply. It was as if he wasn't there. The girl was still screaming, and now she’d started crying. Ben tried to reach her shoulder with his hand in an act of kindness, but the moment his fingers made contact with the white fabric of the girl's clothes, everything stopped and turned black._

_…_

He woke up in his bed, breathing heavily and without any knowledge of where he was. When he saw that the ceiling and the walls that surrounded him were made of wood, he remembered that he was already back in the temple, the light that entered through the wooden boards on the wall letting him know it was daylight.

It’d been a long time since the last time he’d dreamed of the girl, and each time it happened it felt more and more real. As much as he tried to make her stop crying and feeling pain, she could never see him. But sometimes the dream changed.

Sometimes it happened at night, or there was someone holding her arm, but Ben couldn't see who it was. Sometimes the girl didn’t cry or scream, she just looked at whatever thing was in the sky, and feelings of anger and hatred arose from her. The only thing that never changed was the fact that he couldn't turn to find out what the girl was looking at. He only knew that it was something that caused her a lot of pain.

Ben got out of bed and tried to begin with his morning meditation, but the dream had left him frustrated and without the slightest ability to concentrate.

The week to come was a very long one, he still had to catch up on all the work he hadn’t done during the days he spent in Chandrila, and besides the lots of work, there was also little time. His uncle had practically forced him to go with him on a new mission the following week.

There was someone who was destroying old Jedi temples and stealing relics, and his master wanted to find out who and why. Everyone in the temple felt the disturbance in the Force when a new temple burned, the ghosts of the Jedi who had once live there screaming in agony as their old home was destroyed. It was horrible, and someone needed to take care of it.

Lucky for him, his friends had offered their help with his chores, in exchange for Ben insisting Luke about them joining the mission. Ben really doubted his uncle would agree, but he still promised to mention it, since a little help wasn't going to hurt him.

One of the chores was to prepare the ship they would be leaving on at the end of the week, which was Luke's personal ship, the Marauder. When he got to the hangar, Melody was already there, checking the engine. The tip of her long blonde ponytail was dangerously close to an oil stain inside.

"It seems there’s no more work for me to do here."

"This pretty ship is ready for another long trip," she said as she stepped out from behind the engine and wiped the sweat from her forehead with her arm.

"I won't be out for long."

Melody’s big brown eyes were judging him now. "Do you really believe what you just said? Ben, there is someone out there burning temples.” his friend never liked him leaving without her. She hated staying in the temple while he was out on adventures.

"What I believe is that Lori’s going to take good care of you. And you’ll make sure she keeps her sanity.”

"Oh Lord, she’ll be intolerable." Melody was already frustrated.

Ben smiled. He knew how Lori got when she was in charge of the temple. The Jedi apprentice was a year younger than him, but older than everyone else, although with Melody and Vic the age difference was six months. When Master Luke and Ben left, the temple was left under her care, and Lori was obsessed with everything running smoothly. Any detail out of place stressed her, despite her master's lessons on the importance of being patient. She was the strictest and most demanding person Ben had ever met, and Melody one of the most intolerant, resulting in fierce fights when Lori overstepped her obsession with order.

Lori criticized everything the rest of the students did while she was in charge, and Melody was the only one who stood up to her. His friend was completely opposite, always looking for excuses break the rules and have some fun. Luke had told Ben to always keep an eye on her, as soon as they found her pickpocketing in one of Couruscant’s darkest alleys, and brought her to the temple, when she was just a child. And that's what he did, at least at the beginning.

In Melody's early years at the Academy, Ben watched over every step she took, catching her multiple times while trying to steal a ship and escape. Luke would then convince her to stay, making her understand that being a Jedi was much more noble than the life she would’ve had if she’d stayed on Coruscant.

Ben's constant fondness for giving her away made the girl hate him, and even caused problems in their training. The tension between the two made them unable to concentrate during their sparring, because their fights became too personal. The result was extra chores for both.

But as years went by, Melody grew up and got used to the methods of the Academy, and to a life in which she didn’t need to steal in order to survive. At the same time, Ben began to question his uncle’s vision and the Jedi code, and that decreased problems between the two, since now both of them had slightly more similar ideas.

Finally, during a cold, rainy day when they both had the task of cleaning the temple, their friendship was forged. The small blonde girl was having trouble making the seats float –her biggest problem during training was concentration- and Ben offered his help and lifted all the chairs so she could clean the main room’s floor.

While Melody was making sure the tiles of the place were clean and shiny, the first conversation without any argument between them occurred, and the chemistry was such that from that day Ben knew that he could count on the girl with blond hair, the one he had found hidden behind a trash can, bare feet and with her hair covered in dirt.

A few months later, a new apprentice from Bespin joined them, Vic. Ben really liked him because he was also obsessed with ships and flying, and he was a very good pilot. Besides, the boy had a beautiful facility to make them laugh, and the three of them began to spend much of their time together.

The Marauder's door opened and Vic emerged, covered in dirt from head to toe.

"The ship is clean and ready now, sir," he said before throwing a dirty rag at Ben. "So Luke didn't say anything about us joining the mission?"

"I haven't asked yet, but I doubt it." Ben was disappointed. Tolerating his uncle on his own had always been hell. His friends also sighed in disappointment.

"I suppose you’ll enjoy our absence then." Vic clapped him on the back.

The rest of the morning was harvesting vegetables in the temple’s organic garden, while discussing theories about who might be behind the fires. Ben believed it was someone related to the Empire who wanted revenge, like an ex officer or something, but Melody and Vic were betting on a new Sith threat, something much more terrifying.

Hours after lunch, the three apprentices resumed their Jedi training. It was sparring day with wooden sabers, which was what Ben enjoyed most. Luke put them in pairs, to fight until one of them gave up and so they would start again. Meanwhile, their master, who walked among them, corrected errors made during the fight. If everyone was making the same mistake, it became a group lesson.

Each one's opponent depended on their skills and what they needed to learn, and it had been three weeks since Ben had been fighting against Balik, a Nautolian too thin for his kind, but who moved very fast and was very elusive.

Of course Ben had a lot of trouble beating him, as his main strategy was to use his enormous size and strength to weaken him, in addition to his insistent punches. But Balik was learning to avoid his opponent's punches with ease as they faced each other, and it was becoming easier and easier for him to sneak down the side and attack Ben's back, making it difficult for him to block the impact from behind. But his strength was nothing compared to Ben's, and that made the Nautolian tire quickly every time he had to endure the strong confrontations of his opponent again, and was always defeated.

The Force was also more intense in Luke's nephew, which was another disadvantage for Balik, who ended up with his back on the ground every time Ben pushed him with it.

After going through three other couples, Luke got to where his nephew and Balik were. He watched them for a minute and then the correction Ben so much hated began. "Slow down, Ben."

His nephew reduced the force of his blows against Balik, but not too much. There was his uncle again, limiting his power.

“Balik, again, you aren’t attacking the weak points. That way you’ll never knock him down.” Ben and Balik looked at each other. At one point, Ben attacked him again and Balik moved like a bolt of lightning from the side, then struck at Ben’s knee in a way that would have left the other apprentice legless if it’d been a real sword.

Ben groaned and his anger skyrocketed, though he tried to hide it from Luke. He got up from the ground quickly and started to hit Balik's sword with all his strength, causing the already very tired Namodian to back off and be cornered against one of the walls of the temple.

Luke continued to watch them, but said nothing. With a final blow, Ben cornered Balik's head against the wall, his staff pushing the other Padawan's, and continued to press without the need of much force, as Balik's exhaustion made his arm give way easily.

"I give up!" he hastened to say.

Ben released him, somewhat disappointed that the fight was already over, and waited for his uncle's response, but it never came. What happened was that Luke looked at his nephew with a disappointed and angry face, then at his other apprentice, and finally left them without saying any more, continuing with the couple that was fighting next to them.

The two Padawans looked at each other, then moved back to their places to start again.

Seeing the face his uncle gave him after Balik surrendered nullified Ben's feelings of hatred, and replaced them with sadness. Again he was disappointing his master and the Jedi. Losing himself in anger and violence in order to win. Perhaps it was him who was wrong, and his family was right to think he wasn’t worthy of the Skywalker legacy.

_"He wants to limit your power, so that you are not better than him."_

The voice, which had been silent since he returned from Chandrila, reappeared to remind him of his opinion about Luke. Sometimes Ben didn't know who to listen to. Part of him felt that his uncle only wanted the best for him, and that he was concerned that Leia and Han’s absence would interfere with his training. But the other was consumed by the frustration of not being able to fully exploit his powers, and at times made him very doubtful of his master's true intentions. Sometimes it made him think that Luke didn't want him to be a Jedi, and that he only trained him because he’d made a promise to Leia.

The rest of the week at his mother's house had been a disappointment. As always, the senator didn’t keep her promise. The second day, she only stopped by the house for dinner, and so she did the rest of the days. Ben had lunch with his father and uncle, who then returned to Corellia and left him alone again.

His mother didn't even take the last day that Ben would be there, and she arrived just an hour before he left, helping him carry the suitcases to the ship. The young apprentice gave him a halfhearted and disappointed hug and left again for his uncle's temple.

The voice had been impossible to keep quiet all week, of course.

_"They got bored of you, boy. They don't deserve your presence.”_

His parents' attitudes made Ben question how they felt about him. Some nights, sadness didn’t let him sleep. He felt unloved, abandoned, as if there was something wrong with him that his parents couldn't accept.

When he was young, the few times his father was at home, he spent them arguing with his mother, and they talked about their fear of Ben's attraction to the dark, and the inability to control his powers. But now that he’d managed to control them and was training to become a Jedi, why did they still not value him, without showing even a drop of affection?

Han preferred to go on adventures with his uncle Chewie, and Leia ... for Leia it wasn’t enough to work all day and leave her son at home. Leia needed Ben to be thousands of light years away.

The end of the sparring practice brought him back to reality, and then each student returned to their chores. It was Ben's turn to clean the temple’s kitchen, and for the first time he was happy to do so, as it meant time to think about what had happened during practice.

Halfway through work, Luke entered the room and sat in one of the chairs next to the counter. Ben was expecting a sermon and was about to go ahead and offer an apology, when his uncle said:

“I received news about another burning temple. We’ll have to advance the trip for tomorrow morning. You should start packing your things.”

"Where?"

“Reytha. They say the fire started this morning, and that nobody saw anything. Is the ship ready yet?”

"It is ... I was thinking maybe it would be helpful if Mel and Vic come with us. They are the best in combat, in case we come across something unwanted.”

Luke sighed. "Ben ... you understand that I don't want to put more students in danger."

"They won’t be in danger, they know how to defend themselves. Also, we will be with you.”

“No, Ben. We don't know who is behind this. If it’s an enemy from the past, he will be happy to attack my students to weaken me.”

The young apprentice was about to open his mouth to respond when his uncle interrupted him.

"We’ll leave at dawn, have everything ready for that hour." said his master, as he got up from his chair and started heading towards the door.

Ben's anger flared back, and all thoughts of apologizing to Luke were gone. Why did he never let him carry his friends with them? Lori had gone with them on many occasions, and she wasn't even as good with the saber as Mel. Vic was the best pilot of all, and they were only a few months younger than Lori. How are they supposed to learn if they never left the temple?

"They are not ready." Lori stepped out from behind the kitchen door that opened into the dinning room. "Melody won’t follow orders that don’t imply what she believes must be done, and Vic is fragile, he would be easily overcome by fear."

"They won't learn anything by staying here." Ben's tone was too abrupt, but he hated what Lori was saying.

"They can aggravate the mission." He was about to lose patience with his partner when Lori, who had been approaching, crouched next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Trust Luke, Ben. He wants the best for everyone, even if he’s bad at showing it.”

Ben sighed and his anger subsided a little, but he still didn't respond. His partner, who was waiting for his response, got up disappointed and proceeded to leave the kitchen.

...

Early the next day, his uncle was waiting for him inside the ship, in the pilot's seat. Ben's illusions of piloting the ship were ruined. The Marauder took off, and within seconds they were traveling at light speed, the stars fading around them.

Ben could feel his master's fear as the minutes ticked by, and they approached the planet. Whatever was burning the temples was not good, and chances were they were on their way to a trap. Perhaps the person was still there, and was waiting for them. After all, Luke was the last Jedi, and Jedis were full of enemies.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he entered the now painted in black temple, Ben noticed it. The presence of the dark side. Someone had used it there, possibly to destroy the place. He could sense it clearly inside of him. The whispers, the strange thoughts and bad feelings. The smell of pain and death. The feeling of being watched.

Reytha was a planet covered mostly by vegetation and swamps. After the fall of the Empire, small villages had formed, that were seen from the ship as they approached. Next to one of the villages was a large forest, and in the middle of it, Ben could make out a clearing from where an enormous building emerged. A scattered cloud of smoke came out of it, indicating that the fire had been put out for quite some time.

Luke landed the ship next to the forest, and when they were both out, he instructed his nephew to investigate the ruins, while he questioned the villagers for information.

As he entered the now painted in black temple, Ben noticed it. The presence of the dark side. Someone had used it there, possibly to destroy the place. He could sense it clearly inside of him. The whispers, the strange thoughts and bad feelings. The smell of pain and death. The feeling of being watched.

There was no Jedi relic in sight, just old benches and tables. Whoever destroyed the place took everything of value with him. Violence and anger hung in the air, and Ben doubted if a single person could have caused so much destruction.

When he reached the main room, he noticed the presence of the dark side was much stronger. Suddenly, something called to him from one of the corners of the place, and he felt the need to walk towards one of the huge pillars that still supported the roof.

Lying next to it and covered in ashes was a square-shaped object, crying out for Ben to pick it up. He did so, and by forcefully blowing the ashes to clean it, he noticed the object was a brilliant blue, and there were brown lines on the sides of it.

Ben knew exactly what it was. A Jedi holocron. His uncle kept a few of them in the temple, but he’d never let any of his students open them, because "they were not ready yet." But Ben knew how to do it. He had read it in one of his history books.

Gently, he reached out with his mind and asked the holocron to open itself, remembering to say please. The object began to float and rotate, then it opened and fulfilled the boy's wish. Coming out of it, a small blue projection of a togruta Jedi materialized.

"Hello, my lucky spectator!" the projection seemed incredibly happy that Ben opened the holocron. “My name is Ahsoka Tano, Jedi warrior. Tell me, what can I do for you?"

Ben looked at her in amazement and some fear. He had no idea what to say. But the projection, after getting no response, spoke again.

"Mmmm ... Ben Solo. Son of Han and Leia. Grandson of Anakin…” Ahsoka's voice grew weaker, almost a whisper, as she mentioned his grandfather. How did she know who he was? Ben doubted his knowledge about holocrons.

"How do you know who I am?" he dared to ask.

The Jedi looked at him with piercing eyes, and a sad smile on her lips. "You have quite an interesting future ahead of you, Ben."

"What?"

"You have to go now. But I want you to remember that you shouldn’t let your impulses win over you, except those coming from positive feelings. Don't make the same mistakes as your grandfather. And be patient. The force wants to be balanced. The light will find you."

With a smooth movement, the holocron closed, leaving Ben completely silent and with a thousand questions fluttering in his head. Although, after a few seconds, he realized why Ahsoka had said he had to leave. The constant presence of the dark side transformed into the presence of two humans, approaching from behind.

Turning slowly, he saw them, coming from a big open door on the other side of the temple, behind another row of columns. They were dressed completely in black, with a war uniform from which hung all kinds of ammunition. Their faces were covered in two different but equally terrifying metal helmets, making Ben doubt of their ability to see. As they got closer, he could sense that the two strangers were force sensitive, but not to a great extent. Perhaps that’s why they didn’t carry any lightsabers with them, but a kind of long ax and something that looked like a big knife.

Ben had the feeling he had found the cause of the fire.

His first instinct was to put the holocron in his pocket, but it was too late. He could sense they were coming for the relic, perhaps having missed it on their first visit, and that they knew he had it now. Without hesitation, he switched on his blue lightsaber, which was hanging from his belt, and got into a defensive position.

One of the warriors, the one closest to him, raised his knife and pointed it at Ben's pocket.

"That is ours." the man said, in the deepest, most penetrating voice he'd ever heard, modified by the helmet´s modulator, and thanks to his strange accent, he deduced he didn't speak the common language.

"I don't see your name on it." he replied. The warriors slowly began to circle around him, Ben watching them intently, waiting for any attack. He had dealt with more than one opponent multiple times, but he didn’t know how good at fighting the strangers were.

The one with the knife attacked him first and Ben instinctively collided his saber with the weapon, realizing that it was made of some material his saber couldn’t penetrate. In the same instant, he dodged the other's massive ax, and kicked him back, temporarily getting rid of him. It only gave him about twenty seconds to collide his saber several times with the other warrior, and then he had to thrust him again, this time with the Force.

From the pain’s intensity, he deduced the cut was deep. Trying to get up would be in vain. The fear of these being his last moments invaded him, and helped him propel himself with his healthy leg, and use all of his strength to stroke the warrior's knife, before the other pushed him back to the ground. The holocron slipped out of his pocket and bounced off towards the feet of the man with the ax, who then took it with his hand.

Anger flared in Ben, and all he wanted was to get up and run his sword through the warrior's head, yet his leg was no longer responding.

But at one point, anger was again replaced by fear, when he realized the men would probably murder him, now that they had defeated him. The one with the knife had already started getting closer and Ben reminded himself why he was there. His uncle asking him to investigate the ruins. The face he would make when he saw his nephew’s corpse.

When he was less than a meter away, the warrior stopped, eyes still on Ben. With his hands he grabbed the helmet, and pulled it off his head. The terrifying face Ben had envisioned was forgotten, seeing what was really under the bruised helmet.

A man of at least thirty-five years old, with silky blond hair and eyes as blue as the sky. Rather than being scarred, like a Sith would be, his skin was perfect and smooth, without a single scratch.

"Ben Solo ..." he said, with a smile on his lips and his strange accent. His voice was no longer terrifying, but completely normal, the voice of someone he would cross on the street any given day. The blue eyes pierced his like a knife, distracting him from thinking about how was it that he knew his name. "The Lord is waiting for you. He needs a new apprentice.” Ben looked at him in confusion, wondering when will the death blow come. "It is time for you to fulfill your destiny."

Destiny. There it was, that word again. And coming from someone who knew the Force.

The man put his helmet back on, and motioned to the other. The two turned and started walking, back to where they came from, leaving Ben lying on the floor and with more questions than Ahsoka had left.

The strangest thing of all, was that Ben felt he knew what they were talking about. There was something inside him telling him the Lord the warrior had spoken of was the voice. The voice that always talked about destiny. And how Ben had to fulfill his destiny. But the destiny the voice wanted for him was very different from the one his uncle Luke talked about.

There was another feeling too, that someone was waiting for him. That this was not his place, that he didn’t belong there.

The sound of rushing footsteps brought him out of his thoughts. His uncle came running from the entrance, surely having felt Ben's pain. Seeing his bloody leg, his light blue eyes widened. The Jedi knelt next to his nephew, leaning to check the wound on his leg.

"What happened?!"

"I know who’s burning the temples."

Ben told him about the warriors while his uncle assisted him.

"Strong with force?" Luke put down the leg and his face filled with fear.

"Yes. Why?"

The Jedi looked at him with concern. "The Knights of Ren."

"Who?"

“A group of warriors, servants of the dark side. They sure want to destroy what remains of the Jedi.”

Having finished wiping the blood, Luke put a hand on the wound and closed his eyes. Ben felt the tissues regenerate, and the blood flow again through his severed veins. He was looking forward to the day his uncle would teach him that trick.

"It’s rare." Luke continued, after stopping and looking around the place. “They had never done anything like this. The Emperor only sent them searching for Sith relics and temples.”

"The Emperor? How old are they?”

“Its members change. When a warrior is no longer worthy or fit, he is slain and another will come in his place.”

"Nice guys."

Luke looked at Ben with a small smile on his lips. But after a few seconds hesitating, his face changed to complete horror. "The temple…"

His friends. The Knights sought to destroy the Jedi, and they had left the new generation of Jedi alone in the temple. Ben stood up immediately and they both ran towards the ship


End file.
